A Barbie Doughnut

After Barbie and Ken left the bakery set, I was left all alone to think about my depressed doughnut life. 

I was so sad because recently I had been told by a doughman that he wouldn’t want to doughmate with me because my doughnut hole was too big. This is so stupid because once upon a time every doughman wanted a doughwoman who had a large hole; however in today’s doughsociety everyone thinks “small” holes are “king.” It’s almost as if he wanted a bagel instead of a doughnut. The beauty standards I am supposed to adhere to are strange simply because they expect me to be something that I am not. In my daily life, the laundry list of things I have to do in the morning to look “presentable” is ridiculous: put on my pink frosting, wear my pink sprinkles, and freshen my glaze.

The only reason I have to do this is to satisfy doughsociety’s standards of beauty. The rhetoric that the doughmedia is spreading about our bodies does not help either. We must always look our best or we will never be appreciated. Somehow doughJesus decreed that we must all have the perfect circular shape or we will never doughmate. 

Jesus enjoying my ancestor

Even in my childhood, everything I had was always pink and geared to me being a homemaker. My parents gave me pink elephant toys and pink kitchen sets expecting that I would care for their grandchildren while my husband worked at his job. I hope that in the future these gender roles and unfair beauty standards will not be imposed upon us doughwomen. Doughsociety needs to change dramatically in order to have progress. 

A Lonely Asiago Bagel

Once Vladek left to go talk to Art, I sat there alone in the study and began contemplating the Holocaust and everything that is wrong with it. 

Best Served with Jalapeño Cream Cheese

There is a certain crude irony to the Holocaust which no one else seemed to observe. For example, despite the fact that Hitler perpetuates the glory of the Aryan race and despises the Jewish people, he is not even a member of the Aryan race. In fact, he has Jewish ancestors including his father. Also, at the gates of many concentration camps is written “Arbeit Macht Frei”, which in German means “Work sets you free.”

This is an awful lie told by the Germans, because once the Jews were in the concentration camps, they were as good as dead no matter how much they worked. However, this lie is truly ironic because the freedom the Jews received was not freedom in the traditional sense, rather the freedom from life, or death. Also, after many Jews were freed by the Americans, they were given food to eat. However, this food killed them because their digestive systems were not used to proper nutrition. Literally, those who were their saviors simultaneously killed many of them. Another example of irony is Vladek’s racism, especially toward African-Americans. It seems ridiculous for Vladek to “talk about blacks the way the Nazis talked about the Jews” (99 VII) when he has experienced the full effects of racism at the hands of the Nazis. This shows that racial beliefs are so ingrained in human minds and they are very difficult to change even with enormous personal experience to the contrary. This almost comical yet tragic irony in the Holocaust is seldom discussed because it is taboo. However, it must be talked about in order to teach morality and the ramifications of racism. 

A Basket of Veggies

Fred was passed out on the ground and drooling in deep slumber as he probably dreamt about rocks, sticks, and other caveman things. I was resting in my basket as I listened to his deep breathing and thought about how I was stuck in a society full of idiots and yet somehow these idiots managed to keep eating me.

Fred himself has to keep saying yabba-dabba-doo over and over like a baby. 

His wife, Wilma is the most irresponsible woman ever and their daughter is the most mischievous little girl I’ve ever met. How am I expected to function when I am surrounded by these intellectually inept people who cannot possibly understand the thoughts I am able to verbalize? Eventually, Fred woke up and began to stumble around the cave like an oaf when he picked up a stick and started to scratch one of the walls with it. At first, I thought he was just making some noise to keep himself entertained, but then I saw that he was creating art. He had drawn a picture of him and his family in their home which was something I had never expected him to be capable of. 

Not only was his art nice to look at, it also created a sense of emotion in the viewer that I wouldn’t have thought he could understand. Looking at that picture, I felt a sense of contentedness and community that I would not be able to verbalize. I then realized that “a huge range of human experiences can be portrayed … through either words or pictures” (McCloud 152). Despite what I thought, Fred was actually a smart man and I should not have looked down upon him for only being able to express his thoughts through pictures. Just because pictures are seen as childish, they are not a lower form of communication; in fact, they contain a plethora of emotions. The perception that in order to be intellectual, an idea itself needs to be hard to comprehend is very wrong. In fact, the opposite is true, the most intellectual ideas are those that can be understood simply and contain deep thought. 

An Apple in the Fruit Bowl of Life

Before the Fruit Party:

I have so much to do today. I have to go to my stem-trimming appointment, I have to get my skin shined, I have to clean my worms out, and I have to get my leaves looking their best. 

Today is my big day. It’s the annual fruit party where all the fruit in the bowl come together and have one of the greatest evenings ever. Tonight, I’m going to dance with Miss Pear (hopefully), who is the most amazing fruit on the planet because she’s the captain of the Fruitennis team, an expert on nuclear fruition, and the most beautiful fruit in the world. Even if it’s only for one song, that’s okay, I just have to dance with her.  

After the Fruit Party:

I’m home and I’m tired and dejected. I didn’t get to dance with Miss Pear. Instead, Mr. Avocado got to dance with her. Just because he has one stupid tattoo, suddenly all the fruits love him.

I’m just as good as him, yet no one seems to see that. Hm, maybe Miss Pear is just too good for me, and I shouldn’t expect her to dance with me, I guess it’s her decision to dance with who she wants Maybe Mr. Banana, Mr. Orange, and Mr. Kiwi wanted to dance with Miss Pear and they are feeling the same way I do. Maybe Mr. Avocado didn't intend to hurt me and I shouldn't be mad at him. Maybe there was some fruit out there who wanted to dance with me but because I was so focused on my goal of getting Ms. Pear to dance with me, I didn’t notice her. These outcomes may be unlikely, but they are definitely “not impossible” (Wallace).  All of us, as a fruit population must learn to not think about ourselves and instead think about those around us as well. I can’t only think about myself with regards to this party, I need to consider the feelings of others involved. This “natural, basic self-centeredness” is so “repulsive” although “it’s pretty much the same for all of us” (Wallace).  After all, aren't we all just apples in the fruit bowl of life?

A Bag of Popcorn

I was hanging out in front of the TV in Amer Zahr’s house watching the news with him and his friends

 I was the finest bag of Orville Redenbacher popcorn and CNN had breaking news. 

This breaking news, as it often does, involved terrorism, and this terrorism had to somehow involve Arabs. 

This may just seem like a standard occurrence to you, but as a bag of popcorn observing society, I find this quality truly unique. For instance, if somehow I land up next to a piece of white popcorn even though I’m a piece of yellow popcorn we can still get along just fine, because in the end, we are both pieces of popcorn. For humans on the other hand, once one terrorist organization has been established by radial Islamists, suddenly every other act of terrorism has to be caused by them. As Amer said himself, “we are able to be in news stories even when news stories have absolutely nothing to do with us.” I think this ability to invent hate where there is none to be found is sickening. It is disgraceful that an Arab man going to an airport has to make sure that he trimmed his beard the night before. It is awful that one of the most consequential presidents in American history can only be remembered by some for his middle name being Hussein. As just a mere bag of popcorn quietly watching your society, I can see these problems so why can’t your government? There is a clear racial divide in this country that needs to be healed. Although this mission towards progress may seem daunting, it must begin somewhere. As Lao Tzu said, "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."